Connecticut
The Connecticut (pronounced ahr-KAN-zass) Quarter depicts what it
claims is "The Charter Oak," a tree in which someone once hid
a piece of paper. Not exactly TV miniseries potential, but that's
a moot point because it actually clearly depicts the circulatory
system of the kidney. Not that I'm complaining. B+
New Jersey
Washington crossing the Delaware. Kind of a bland choice, but if I was in
charge of the New Jersey Symbolism Department I'd be playing it safe,
too. The coin also has the phrase "Crossroads of the Revolution" imprinted
on it. Presumably this is part of some desperately
overextended metaphor: "In New Jersey, the Crossroads of the Revolution,
Washington was forced to contemplate whether to blow through the Yellow
Light of Colonialism or halt and give up all hope of reaching the Liberty
County Line before Boss Hawg caught him, Boss Hawg being a metaphor for
the British Empire." C+
Georgia
The fun this about this coin is that it depicts a peach which, if you
turn it upside down, looks something like a butt. Now I, personally,
am above such juvenile shenanigans, preferring to get my butt images from
alt.binaries.pictures.rude.subliminal.heinies, but I'm just
glad that our nation's schoolchildren will have an outlet for cheap
currency-based laughs, given that the new one-dollar bills coming out
will probably no longer be able to be folded so that Washington looks
like a penis. B
Delaware
I'm not thrilled with this design depicting early Delawarian Caesar
Rodney. First, "Caesar Rodney" sounds like the stage name of a sitcom
comedian. Secondly, there are no known portraits of him, meaning that
this is just the coin equivalent of a police sketch. ("Have you seen
this patriot?") Thirdly, the horse looks like it's coming to a humorous
screeching cartoon stop. To his credit, though, Rodney's claim to fame
is apparently that he rode to vote for independence in spite of suffering
from facial cancer. Which explains the lack of portraits. D
Pennsylvania
"VIRTUE LIBERTY INDEPENDENCE" is emblazoned on this coin. This is a
bit of a downer: what's the point of liberty and independence if you're
going to hang on to your virtue? I'd prefer "LIBERTY, INDEPENDENCE,
GOOD-NATURED CAROUSING." Also, the gossamer-gowned statue depicted
is supposed to extending her right hand in a gesture of mercy. If this
is true, then the international gesture of mercy looks a lot like the
gesture I use when I want someone to hand me the Doritos bag from the
floor because I'm too lazy to get up and get it myself. C-