Grape Fruit Candy
Disappointed with the scores
handed out to the last batch of
Korean snack foods, The Duke
and Duchess of Corn Pop sent me another box of snacks more
carefully tailored to my particular tastes, i.e. nothing squid
flavored. Thus, we have "Grape Fruit Candy," which is notable mostly
for the fact that they refer to grapes as "grape fruit" throughout,
presumably to distinguish it from grape shot, Grape Nuts, and Grape Ape
reruns. But the candy itself is pretty boring. C+
Pico Boy
Now we're getting somewhere. A Pico Boy, presumably, is one one-trillionth
of a boy, just as pico de gallo is one one-trillionth of a de gallo. Well, one
one-trillionth of a boy tastes a lot like a stale cream puff. Also, a Pico
Boy according to the box is a flower-eating, unicycle-riding,
sweating gnome with pastry on his head. That darned metric system. A
Time
The interesting thing about these reasonably tasty vegetable snacks, aside from
the fact that they're named after a fundamental property of the universe,
is that they come with a red packet of something. I should have known this,
as the package features a small cartoon red packet of something with
Mickey Mouse gloves, but it still came as a surprise. I am now going
to open the packet to see what it is. Wish me luck. [Opens packet.] It's
ketchup. Jesus Christ that weirds me out. B-
Mammos Pop Snack
These are rice cakes. Just like mother used to buy at the health food
store. There's really not much to say about rice cakes, so I'm going to
have to resort to making fun of the stilted English on the package.
"Man protects nature and nature protects man. Please put the useless wrapper in the trash con."
"Please avoid direct light or the moistured place how ever select the clean place to store."
"The 'POP' Snack is so servieeable to children's snack because of its softness and taste popped from the main ingredient of the snack rice."
"By chance when you can change them at business offices or nearby stores where you had pur chsed them."
"Let's establish health society by abolishing inferior food."
I don't know about you, but I'm ready to start establishing health society even as we speak. C-
Pumpkin Candy
This claims to be pumpkin flavored, but the wrapping depicts some sort
of generic green gourd. I don't really know what generic green gourds
taste like, but if they taste like semi-raw, slightly off pumpkins, then
this candy is spot on. C-