Electric Screwdrivers
Thank Black and/or Decker for electric screwdrivers! I could probably get through the rest of my life without sanding, sawing or taking any interest in dovetailing, but I know that I have many pieces of cheap Swedish furniture to assemble before I sleep. Using a screwdriver doesn't even work off frustration like hammering, so I'm glad to sit back and let sweet, sweet electricity do the work. A

Bandsaws
I think I used a bandsaw once, and I seem to remember that I was less interested in actually building something and more in playing "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die" in my head. Until I realized that I could cut squiggles, and switched to making a jigsaw puzzle you could assemble into a picture of wood. After about two minutes I was ready to move on. D+

Electric Sander
Sanding, I think, is what turned me off to the whole idea of woodshop. the very idea that you need multiple grains of sandpaper to get the final effect made me realize that I would be wasting valuable time I could be spending not sanding things. Even the prospect of an electric sander doesn't improve things, because it still requires attention to detail. I just can't look at a piece of wood for that long. D

Electric Drill
You know how they say "When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, especially nails"? Get an electric drill in your hands and you suddenly become aware of exactly how much drywall surrounds you. And all of it yours for the puncturing. I don't think I should be allowed to have one of these. It puts notions in my head. C+

Lathe
I like lathes because radial symmetry is a hobby of mine. The ability to affect all sides of an object without having to actually move around make me feel like I have super speed and can tie criminals up in milliseconds and make whirlwinds and table legs. If they make a machine that can catch bullets for me I'm set. B-