Iguanadon
Aladar, the proto-protagonist from the Disney Dinosaur movie, was an
Iguanadon. They didn't play that up much in the promotional material,
because "Iguanadon" is a dumb name. It means "Iguana Tooth," which
sounds like one of those inexplicable taunts third graders make up if
your name doesn't rhyme with "butt" or "fart." The other thing is that
Iguanadons had a pointy thumb-like appendage which sticks straight up
in most Iguanadon portrayals, which makes the things look like they're
patiently waiting for Peterbilt to be founded so they can hitch a ride
to the next Phish concert. C
Sauroposeidon
Those whole "largest dinosaur" thing is tough to track down, because
"Fun Fact" placemats aren't known for their exacting fact-checking. For
a while there, UIltrasaurus was the main contender, except there were two
types of Ultrasauri and they weren't actually all that big and it was all
pretty stupid. Anyhow, near as I can tell, the most recent candidate for
"biggest-assed creature of all time" is the Sauroposeidon ("Earthquake
God Lizard"). The Sauroposeidon was also one of the last of the dinosaurs;
there's some sort of moral there, but I don't think it applies to me. C+
Pterodactyl
Pterodactyls are cool for two obvious reasons: they can fly and
they have a silent "p." The same applies to Pteranadons, of course,
but we've already established that paleontologists worry about teeth
too much. Anyhow, Pterodactyl either couldn't really fly, instead only
gliding, or it couldn't fly very well. But Pterodactyl-shaped transforming
robot cartoon characters can fly, and that's what's really important. B+
Pleisiosaur
Completing the prehistoric triathlon, Pleisiosaur is a seagoing dinosaur,
if you take the word dinosaur to include "things that are not technically
speaking dinosaurs but end up in the dinosaur section of the plush toy
aisle nonetheless." As with other reptiles of the era, we're not sure
exactly what Pleisiosaur looked like, but we are absolutely certain that
it was huggable and a friend to all the children. Also, scientists are
completely sure that any mysterious lake monsters that are not actually
floating logs or delirium tremens are Pleisiosaurs. B
Oviraptor
This creature's name means "egg stealer." It is so named because it does
not steal eggs. When the first Oviraptor fossil was found, it was on
top of some eggs, so the discoverers drew the obvious conclusion that
it was stealing them. This is because it was discovered by the LAPD. As
it turns out, those were probably the thing's own eggs. But,
okay, they think that the species as a whole may have eaten eggs --
other creatures' eggs -- anyway. It just seems like the sort of
thing they'd do. I'm going back to bed. C-