The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features


Pretty darned cool.

But where did it come from? Where did all those special phrases originate? And what was the original meaning of said phrases?

Glad you asked. Let's take a look:

"Look Ma, No Hands!"

This tragic phrase founds it beginnings in the Aztec Empire, hundreds of years ago. A very religious people, the Aztecs were big on Human Sacrifice. What better way, they thought, to show loyalty to the winged serpent lizards than gutting Uncle Bob? Normally the sacrifices were state criminals, production assistants or lawyers, but when none could be found, they'd ask for volunteers.

"Hey! I need to slice open someone's beating heart to appease the God of Maize. Any takers?"

Soon, as they realized that the practice of butchering all of their people was leading to self-extermination, they amended the rules a bit, and started to simply mutilate themselves.

"Wow! Aunt Beatrice has one arm! What happened?"
"We needed some rain."

Self-sacrifice was taught in the schools, and each child was expected to give up a portion of themselves when times were bad. It was a sign of prestige to be disfigured.

"Hey, check out Gus and his mauled feet! Isn't he dreamy?"

But the real service to the Aztec world was to give up your hands. And when a proud child would allow his mitts to be hacked off to please the God of Gout, he would run home, as fast as he could, yelling, "Look Ma! No Hands!" and holding up his bloody stumps. He made his parents proud.

Soon, the Aztecs invented faster ways of traveling than running, and the children would often be wheeled home chanting their mantra so all the tribe would know how cool they were.

"Look Ma! No Hands!"

Throughout time, this has evolved into what is it today, mindless youth on bicycles waving their arms in the air and yelling out, "Look Ma, No Hands!"

The only change is that now, instead of acknowledging a mutilation, this phrase often precedes one, as the stupid kids tend to crash a lot when they aren't holding onto the handle bars.

But the essence is the same.

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