The Future of Hotels
"People thought I was crazy, but I had to make an ice hotel..." - Jacques
Desbois, Quebec, Canada.
And so he did. A five-suite hotel in Northern Canada built entirely out of
ice. North America's first ice hotel (There is already one in existence in
Sweden) opens its doors this year and the rest of the world must stand in
line in wait for a room where the temperature may climb as high as -4 degrees
Celsius (26 degrees Fahrenheit) and guests must be regularly thawed out of
Naturally, the hotel industry is taking notice.
"My God, if people will pay to get frostbite, what else can we push on 'em?"
- Evil Hotel Designer Mitch Cummings, Orlando, Florida.
Here then, is a sampling of upcoming hotels across the world.
L'Hotel Machet, the world's first Paper Mache Hotel, is scheduled to open in
mid-May, and Parisians couldn't be more excited! Special features include
readable walls in multiple languages, an all-mache pastry shop and free paste
for the kids! Hotel will be equipped with wheels for use as a float in local
parades and comes with a smiling, waving "Princess Paper" in the lobby.
"What's the one thing people miss from their youth more than anything?" asks
Entrepreneur Hutch Duggle, "Tinker-Toys!" Duggle is banking on tinker-stalgia
to flood his bank account when he opens the world's first hotel made entirely
out of tinker toys in the Autumn of 2001. "Bring your whole family! No
matter the size, we've got a room for them! Heck, if needed, you can adjust
your room yourself! It's Tinker-Toys!"
Set to open its doors in April, Hotel-O, the world's first hotel made
entirely out of Jell-O, is expecting big business. Special features include
Bill Cosby permanently sitting in the lobby and cost-efficient fire escape
exits - you simply walk through the walls. Guests desiring true privacy may
want to ask for the darker-flavored rooms.
If its been done once, leave it to Disney to do it bigger and more
elaborately. People were amazed last week when Disney announced plans to
commence work on 'Disney's Pyramid On Ice!' outside of Cairo, Egypt. Special
features include ice-skating bellboys dressed as your favorite Disney
characters, monorail service to The Sphinx and David Blaine frozen for your
enjoyment in the lobby. Opens June 6th, 2001, melts itself closed three
Central Park, New York
When Sam Smilky announced plans to build the world's first invisible hotel in
the middle of Central Park, people were skeptical. "They told me I was
crazy, but I had a dream." And so Sam began work on his dream. The result
will be an entirely invisible 3-story luxury hotel accommodating over 100
guests at any one time. "People will walk by, and think you're lying on the
ground, but that's only because they won't be able to see the luxurious
accommodations surrounding you!" said Smilky, "Plus I'm making it out of
walls you can walk right through! As if they're not even there! How much
would you pay for that?"