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The Future of Hotels

"People thought I was crazy, but I had to make an ice hotel..." - Jacques Desbois, Quebec, Canada.

And so he did. A five-suite hotel in Northern Canada built entirely out of ice. North America's first ice hotel (There is already one in existence in Sweden) opens its doors this year and the rest of the world must stand in line in wait for a room where the temperature may climb as high as -4 degrees Celsius (26 degrees Fahrenheit) and guests must be regularly thawed out of bed.

Naturally, the hotel industry is taking notice.

"My God, if people will pay to get frostbite, what else can we push on 'em?" - Evil Hotel Designer Mitch Cummings, Orlando, Florida.

Here then, is a sampling of upcoming hotels across the world.

Paris, France

L'Hotel Machet, the world's first Paper Mache Hotel, is scheduled to open in mid-May, and Parisians couldn't be more excited! Special features include readable walls in multiple languages, an all-mache pastry shop and free paste for the kids! Hotel will be equipped with wheels for use as a float in local parades and comes with a smiling, waving "Princess Paper" in the lobby.

Wichita, Kansas

"What's the one thing people miss from their youth more than anything?" asks Entrepreneur Hutch Duggle, "Tinker-Toys!" Duggle is banking on tinker-stalgia to flood his bank account when he opens the world's first hotel made entirely out of tinker toys in the Autumn of 2001. "Bring your whole family! No matter the size, we've got a room for them! Heck, if needed, you can adjust your room yourself! It's Tinker-Toys!"

Sydney, Australia

Set to open its doors in April, Hotel-O, the world's first hotel made entirely out of Jell-O, is expecting big business. Special features include Bill Cosby permanently sitting in the lobby and cost-efficient fire escape exits - you simply walk through the walls. Guests desiring true privacy may want to ask for the darker-flavored rooms.

Cairo, Egypt

If its been done once, leave it to Disney to do it bigger and more elaborately. People were amazed last week when Disney announced plans to commence work on 'Disney's Pyramid On Ice!' outside of Cairo, Egypt. Special features include ice-skating bellboys dressed as your favorite Disney characters, monorail service to The Sphinx and David Blaine frozen for your enjoyment in the lobby. Opens June 6th, 2001, melts itself closed three hours later.

Central Park, New York

When Sam Smilky announced plans to build the world's first invisible hotel in the middle of Central Park, people were skeptical. "They told me I was crazy, but I had a dream." And so Sam began work on his dream. The result will be an entirely invisible 3-story luxury hotel accommodating over 100 guests at any one time. "People will walk by, and think you're lying on the ground, but that's only because they won't be able to see the luxurious accommodations surrounding you!" said Smilky, "Plus I'm making it out of walls you can walk right through! As if they're not even there! How much would you pay for that?"

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