The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Every Olympics heralds a new event, a new chance for a nation to win a Gold medal. The 2000 Olympics in Sydney are no exception. Here then, is a list of some of the exciting new events which will debut 'Down Under.' In 2000.

Olympic Red Rover

This much-beloved school-yard game will finally get its due as over 35 nations send teams of large, strong-armed men and women to Australia for the chance to clothes-line the rest of the world. Soon, you will be able to tune into the telecast and hear "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Equatorial Guinea on over!"

The 100 M. Skip

Not quite a run, not quite a walk, the 100 M. Skip combines grace, agility, pure speed and sheer hopping power for the ultimate in modern transportation. Hans Glubenvork of Estonia is the odds on favorite to win both the 100 M. and the 500 M. races, however, he may face a stiff challenge in the 1000 M. from American Barry Felton of San Francisco.

Olympic Exploding Freeze-Tag

Twenty-seven nations are sending their best Freeze-Taggers to Sydney in the hopes of winning this prestigious Gold. This new event is one which closely resembles the ancient games of yore where combatants would be tossed into an arena which no way out except over the dead body of the enemy. Of course, this is the modern age, and so all deaths in the rink will be simulated and in slow-motion, with style points awarded for the most lavish. Word is, the Qataran team has a spectacular multi-member explosion planned for later rounds!

Olympic Jacks

Many experts believe the world-record of twelve jacks will be broken at this year's games. Most likely by Jamaican Jacker Trinidad Pago. Word is, Pago will be bringing his 'lucky bouncy ball.'

Olympic Wink-Murder

Everyone will be on their guard during this exciting competition. John Hogan, captain of the Australian team sums up his troupe's training regimen. "We've spent a lot of time milling around in a circle, making eye-contact, working on the fake-out and our kill-stroke. I think we've got to be the odds-on favorites this year. Mark my words, we will be keeping the Gold in Sydney!"

Olympic Dodge-Ball

With numerous corporate sponsors waiting in the wings to lavish money on the winning team, this game will be brutal. All eyes are on a first round match between Bosnia and Serbia. As one I.O.C. member remarked, "This could be ugly."

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