They should make a movie that is nothing but trailers. I'd go.

God, it's the charity thing. I know the ushers just go in the back and split the cash.

Hey, there's the cartoon where the Bag of Popcorn is on a date with the Girl Drink. The Bag of Popcorn takes a sip of the drink he buys from the refreshment stand. Isn't he cheating on his date?

Why do they close the curtain and re-open it before the Feature Presentation? Should we pretend we're actually in the Rialto seeing "The Wizard of Oz?"

Ok, why didn't anyone else jump at that? Did anyone see me jump?

Could you please stop talking! Quiet! Shut up! For the Love of Christ, shut up, shut up!

Man, these closing credits are long. All my friends said to stay through the credits, so here I am. There had better be something amazing at the end of these names, like a naked woman or something.

The movie's over. Now I have to go back to the real world. How depressing.