The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

We at Brunching Shuttlecocks would like to take a moment to remember a dear friend of ours -- Linda McCartney.

Oh, none of us actually knew her personally. But even if she didn't travel in the same social circles as we, she was never far from our thoughts.

When in need of a quick epigram about Sleater-Kinney (one of the many punk bands who copped her raw vocal style), whenever fair hiring practices were mentioned, we thought of her.

When posed the question, "What do you call a dog with wings?", whom did we think of? Linda Eastman McCartney.

Linda was a competent photographer and an enthusiastic singer. Together with musicians, she performed for millions of people. Although roundly panned by critics, none could fault her for taking the tambourine as her chosen instrument.

She loved animals, but had a definite affinity for vegetables. She proved that anyone growing up in America can make it -- although they may have to move to England first. She was never caught masturbating in a public lavatory.

Let us now pray:

Oh Lord, bless the spirit of your daughter Linda and accept her into heaven. Father, we pray that you do not also take Yoko Ono from us in this, our time of need. Neither take from us Ringo, lest we have to think up some other name to call all British guys when we want to piss them off. Oh Lord, won't you buy us a Mercedes Benz.


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