by David Neilsen

Welcome to the new fall season of television. There is no greater moment in a person's life than this annual day of renewal, and all the networks agree that life is a better place, filled with hope.

However, after about two weeks, that hope fades into desperation as certain shows inevitably fail to land an audience larger than, say, six. Which is why God created mid-season pick-ups. Shows that were not nearly good enough to be included in the fall line-up but which will do fine to replace the latest prime time bombs. Every network has it's replacement shows ready, and The Brunching Shuttlecocks are proud to preview one major network's upcoming hits.

So without further ado, here's what you can look forward to in the coming weeks on the WB!

Hos
Our cameras fallow a number of real life hookers as they stand on the corner, get some business and turn a trick or two. These are not actors; if they were, they'd be a lot prettier. Watch the dramatic price negotiations and meet the colorful pimps who guide these young women on their life's journey.

Pope For A Day
This real-life show centers on giving ordinary people the chance to be the spiritual leader of the Catholic Church for a day. Watch as the wacky edicts get passed down and become doctrine week after week! Hosted by George Wendt (Norm from Cheers!)

Hospital
A night time drama about a hospital and the people who get sick and stuff. Stars a bunch of unknown cute people and the camera will never stand still. Need we say more?

World's Funniest Set-Up Camera Pranks
Engelbert Humperdinck hosts this collection of the wildest, most incredible stuff ever caught on tape, and created specifically to be caught on tape. Set up your own "Cat falls off the TV when pushed" prank, tape it and send us the VHS tape. You could be a winner!

Help! I've Got No Rhythm!
An urban, hip-hop sit-com set against the background of a record store. Gary Coleman stars as the one black kid in the ghetto with no rhythm. Watch him get beat up week after week. That's about it, but the chance to watch Gary Coleman get whooped week after week oughta bring in the Nielsen Ratings like nobody's business!

Three Hot Chicks
Three gorgeous women stand around and stare blankly at each other for an hour. Did I mention they're total babes?

Yes, these shows, and many more, await your viewing pleasure in the coming months. Set your VCRs today!