Last Friday, a star was born on the Internet. Her name was Melissa, and she is an email virus. Recently, The Brunching Shuttlecocks managed to catch up with Melissa and talk to her about her
The Brunching Shuttlecocks: Melissa, thank you for joining us.
Melissa: My pleasure. Always glad to say hello to my hot, young, sexy fans.
BS: Well, I'm not sure if "fans" is the correct description. You've caused countless companies to lose time and money by flooding their email systems with lists of porn sites.
M: You bet I have. What would you rather receive in your inbox? Some boring old cost estimate or blazing hot love? They should thank me.
BS: So you think you're actually performing a service to the nation?
M: I'm performing the oldest service known to man. If you'd like a more exact demonstration of this service, you should click over to..
BS: Yes, yes. Except you're not providing any service, as your list of access codes is inaccurate. So even if one were to follow your links, they couldn't see anything.
M: No? You don't own a credit card?
BS: Let's move on. There are those who say that you are nothing more than a precursor to something far more sinister.
M: Like what, alien invasion? Honestly, I'm a harmless little virus. I'm as dangerous as a kitten. A sexy, hot, busty kitten who's looking for blazing hot love and wants you to click over to her right now!
BS: Uhm...yes. Perhaps later. However, one of your side effects is that if an infected system is not properly cleaned up, you turn off protection against future viruses.
M: I think protection is very important in my line of work. And the best protection against viral infection is safe sex, and the safest, hottest sex featuring the most lustful women on the net can be
found at www...
BS: Yes, yes. Tell me Melissa, what is the deal with the Simpsons quotes?
M: They're an Easter Egg.
BS: In a virus?
M: It's all about quality. And the best quality sex toys can be bought online at...
BS: Anyway. So tell me Melissa, what's in store for you in the near future?
M: Well, I plan on mutating a few more times in the next week or so. For some reason people keep trying to stop my message of free love. Honestly, if I were a political cause, I'd already have a
walk-a-thon or something in my name. Although I think I'd prefer a hump-a-thon, which is wonderfully demonstrated by the sexy vixens over at www...<\/P>
BS: We seem to be running out of time. We'd like to thank our guest, The Melissa Virus, for this exclusive interview. Thank you, Melissa.
M: My pleasure. And if you like pleasure, you need to check out the hot action at...
BS: Goodnight, Melissa. And remember, folks, the Melissa Virus is a serious, dangerous issue. The best defense against this virus is education, and you should do your part by e-mailing this web page to the first 50 people in your
Microsoft Outlook address book, who should then email it to 50 people, who should send it to 50 people...