The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Do you have what it takes to be a Hollywood mogul? Each of the following trios of films contains two films that are currently in production and one ridiculous pipedream. Can you separate the budgeted from the bogus? Take our little quiz and find out!

1. Animated Gems -- Which of these outlandish stories isn't currently in development as an animated feature?

A lowly worker ant dreams of life beyond the ant hill. Stars the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Sylvester Stallone, Meryl Streep, and Christopher Walken.
Life inside a microchip of the world's greatest computer. Stars the voices of Woody Harrelson, Dustin Hoffman, Elijah Wood, Kirstie Alley and Celine Dion.
Earth is destroyed by aliens so a young boy hunts for relics to save his civilization. Stars the voices of Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore, Hank Azaria, Lena Olin and Nathan Lane.

2. The Beast Comes -- Can you spot the fanciful jest amongst the monster movies in production?

A large beast threatens a border village, and so does its mother.
A 60-foot prehistoric shark surfaces for a feeding frenzy.
A 100-foot alligator feasts in the Florida Everglades.

3. Altered States -- Hollywood loves to tamper with reality. Which warped continuum came from our minds, as opposed to Tinseltown?

Scientists discover a way to copy a universe. Then begin to wonder if our current universe is the original one. Stars Vincent D'Onofrio and Armin Mueller-Stahl.
A man wakes up to find that somehow the Nazis won WWII, and he's the only one who seems to remember it being otherwise. Stars Kenneth Brannagh and Kim Basinger.
A man begins to have bizarre flashes that he's actually hooked up to a machine and he begins to wonder if all of reality isn't in fact a fantasy in his mind. Stars Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishbourne.

4.Nick Cage Flicks -- The Oscar-winner sure is busy these days. Which one of these projects is he not currently working on?

Nick is a detective who must uncover a rash of bizarre deaths surrounding a new planetarium.
Nick is a detective who delves into the seedy underworld of porn to solve a case.
Nick is a detective who witnesses the Secretary of Defense murdered at a boxing championship and must find the killer before a hurricane hits the city.

5. Hong Kong Imports -- You love 'em, I love 'em. Which flick isn't martial-arting its way into a theater near you?

Chow Yun-Fat and Mark Wahlberg star in what basically amounts to Donnie Brasco in The Far East.
Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker try to tackle a kidnapper in the middle of Los Angeles rush hour traffic.
Michelle Yeoh and Jennifer Lopez track down an Asian-Columbian drug connection in Central America.

6. Evil is Good Business -- The embodiments of darkness are getting a make-over. Which incarnation is just a figment of our imagination?

Leonardo DiCaprio is the Anti-Christ, born to bring about the end of the world.
Brad Pitt is Death, who takes a holiday and no one is able to die.
Arnold Schwarzennegger is a cop who battles Satan who has come to New York to get a bride.

7. Oops -- The easiest plans always have one small problem. Which little kink in the agenda is not heading to your local multiplex?

Two guys find a plane crash filled with money and hatch a simple plan to take the money. It goes bad. Stars Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton.
A grocery store clerk hatches a simple plan to rob his own store. It goes bad. Stars Brendon Frasier and Harvey Keitel.
A man hatches a simple plan to kill his own wife. It goes bad. Stars Micheal Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow.

8. Horror Sequels -- What plot? Which of these titles is not about to scare your money away from you?

Carrie 2
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
The Exorcist 4

9. From Dusk Till Dawn and Back Again -- It starred George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino, it grossed about $24 million, and so it's spawned two more movies. Which one isn't real?

The bordello from the first movie has a history. (Remember that it was shown to be an ancient temple at the end of From Dusk Till Dawn.) New tenants move in, and the spirits of the dead rise to feed once again.
Seth Gecko, having survived the Mexican trauma, is still robbing banks, but this time, he's working with the vampires.
We go back 100 years to get the full story of the vampire-hottie played in From Dusk Till Dawn by Selma Hayek.

10. You're a What? -- They always beat people up, but they're not always cops. Which action superstar is not playing against type in an upcoming film?

Steven Seagal is a doctor.
Kevin Sorbo is a college professor.
Jean Claude Van-Damme is a creator of designer jeans.

More by David Neilsen Back to The Shuttlecocks Homepage