How Dumb Are We? | The Brunching Shuttlecocks

How Dumb Are We?
by David Neilsen

Recently, a survey by people who care found out what we've known for far too long. Americans are a stupid, stupid people.

54% were able to accurately state how long it takes the Earth to revolve around the sun (One Year)

45% Said Lasers work by focusing sound waves (Light waves, kids, it's what the "L" stands for.)

And it just got better from there.

So the question becomes, in terms of scientific knowledge, How Dumb Are We? Let's find out. Take this scientific test and see just how dumb you really are.

1. What chemical makes up almost 4/5 the composition of normal air?

Nitrogen
Oxygen
Carbon Dioxide
Ozone

2. How Old is The Earth?

Over 4.5 Billion Years
Over 4.5 Million Years
Over 4.5 Years
Just under 6,000 years, and any other answer is a blasphemy against God.

3. How Many Moons does Europa Have?

4
6
2
Europa IS a moon, dumb ass!

4. What separates the lower mantle from the molten outer core of the Earth, 1,800 miles below the crust?

...Huh?
The Gutenberg Boundary
The Gutenberg Discontinuity
Steve Guttenberg

5. 0 Kelvin equals

0 degrees Fahrenheit
32 degrees Fahrenheit
-460 degrees Fahrenheit
What the Hell's a Kelvin?

6. Which planet of our solar system is farthest from the Sun as of January 1, 2002?

Pluto
Neptune
Planet X
Since Earth is the center of the Universe, objects in the sky can only be measured in their distance from Earth. Dumb ass.

7. Which of the choices below is closest in shape to the Earth?

A Cube
A Sphere
An Inverted, Upside-down Triangle
A Turtle

8. In Einstein's famous equation 'e=mc²' what does 'c' stand for?

Hot Liquid Magma
The Speed of Light
Your Mom
The Wrath of God

9. How long does it take the Earth to revolve around the sun?

One Year
One Month
The Sun revolves around the Earth, dumb ass!
I have no idea because I'm too lazy to scroll to the top of this article and read the answer.

10. How Dumb Are You?

Slightly
Very
Staggeringly
Obscenely