The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Fun With Food

In October, Heinz will be releasing a new line of ketchup. Green ketchup. It will taste the same as red ketchup, but will, in fact, be the color green. This is the first product released in a new attempt by the company to make its world-wide line of food products more enjoyable. Some of the other upcoming innovations include:

StarKist Tuna-Safe Tuna

Now that the industry has managed to make its tuna fish dolphin-safe, saving thousands of dolphins a year, what can be done to save all those poor tuna? Heinz is proud to present the world's first tuna-safe tuna! For years we've heard that tuna fish was the "chicken of the sea" so we've taken the next logical step and filled our tuna fish canisters with wet chicken! Now you can eat your "chicken of the sea" and rest easy with the knowledge that no tuna died for your meal. Save the Tuna! Eat StarKist Tuna-Free Tuna today!

9 Lives Action Catfood

Cats chase mice. Why? For the taste? No way! For the thrill of the chase!

So why not make kitty's dinner-time an exciting action-packed event! Our genetic engineers have worked around the clock to create a sentient form of cat food! Now, just peel back the lid and watch the nibblets scamper across the floor! Fluffy will love it! Bring out the tiger in your tabby with 9 Lives Action Catfood!

Ore-Ida Pre-Dipped French Fries

Everyone loves french fries. They are a staple of our daily diet. And what's better than dipping that wonderful fry into a tasty sauce? Well we've gone ahead and removed that extra step. Now, with Ore-Ida Pre-Dipped French Fries, we do the dipping, so you don't have to! Yes, every fry in our bags has been dipped in the sauce of your choice and then sealed up for delivery, right to your plate! Try Cajun Ranch, Hot Mustard or the old stand-by, Ketchup. Free your fingers from the dubious chore of dipping, pick up Ore-Ida Pre-Dipped French Fries today!

Heinz Bunting Baked Beans

As anyone in the UK could tell you, Beanz Meanz Heinz. And now Heinz has taken its glorious line of Baked Beans one step further, we've added the sound of serious flatulence! No longer do children across the UK have to wait until after eating their beans to let one rip! Now each can opens with the juiciest sound on the market! Amuse your friends! Tease your teachers! Get your can of Heinz Bunting Baked Beans today!

Rosetto's Political Pasta

Kids love to eat pasta. Kids also love to argue over politics. Now kids can do both at the same time! Heinz presents Rosetto's Political Pasta, cheese-filled pasta shells shaped like the world's leading political leaders! Chomp on Clinton! Munch on Mbeki! Bite down on Blair! Chew up Castro! Feast on all of your political favorites with the one dish that makes meal time a political statement! Pick up a package of Rosetto's Political Pasta today!

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