Final Destination
reviewed by The Self-Made Critic
There is no hope. No purpose. No chance. No free will.
Our lives are unimportant. Nothing we do matters. Death comes for us all,
and we can't stop it. Why do we even bother trying?
The fatalistic movie which has inspired my bout of malaise is Final
Destination. It's the story of how Death comes for everyone, and you can't
stop it. So you shouldn't even worry about it.
A bunch of students are going to fly to France. Before the plane leaves, one
of the students has a vision of the plane exploding. He freaks, and seven
people end up thrown off the plane. The plane explodes. Now seven people
are alive who shouldn't be alive. So Death sets out to rub them out one at a
time.
Oh sure, they try to stop Death. They try to cheat Death. But Death is a
persistent bugger, and they are as Sisyphus, forever pushing the stone uphill
in their hopeless battle against Death.
The movie teaches us that all is lost. After the movie, a number of my
fellow movie-goers were considering turning to anarchy. Nothing remains.
The only constant is the eternal end.
I'm very depressed right now.
As a horror movie, Final Destination is passable. The thrills thrill, the
scares scare. However, this movie's lasting impact upon your soul is
monumental and never-ending. We are all heading towards our own Final
Destination, our personal date with oblivion.
But the film provides a glimmer of false hope. Death has a plan. Can they
figure it out? Can they interpret this ghoulish plan of finality? Can it be
altered? The heart grasps at these possibilities, yet the mind understands
the truth. Death is eternal, all-powerful and unyielding. It's a horror
movie, they're gonna die.
People die in horror movies all the time. But usually, you're given hope.
There is hope that someone is going to live. The bad guys will lose, life
will go on. But not in this film. No giddy, happy ending here. And how
could there be? How do you kill Death? He's not even personified or
anything in the movie. Death is simply a breath of wind, a cold chill, a
pool of liquid. Can't very well chop his head off, can you?
The film stars a bunch of young actors who are all going to die eventually.
They do a fine job of acting like people who are actually alive at the
moment. Like it matters. We were all better off in the womb. Tony Todd
makes a wonderful appearance as the only person in the movie who understands
his place in the grand scheme of things. He's a mortician.
Should you see Final Destination? Yes. As if your life depended on
it. You need to fully understand the futility of existence. This movie
will help shape your views and remove all pretense of free will from your
mind. It may also scare you. The first 20 minutes are terrifying.
I'm giving Final Destination 3 Babylons. I could give it more, I could give
it less. But why bother? We're all going to die anyway.
Editor's Note:
Well, the SMC has finally realized that he's going to die, eventually. Can
anyone suggest a movie about a dying career?
Final Destination
Rated: R
Directed By: James Wong
Starring: Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Kerr Smith, Kristen Cloke, Chad Donella,
Amanda Detmer, Seann William Scott, Tony Todd, Shep Ripple, Barbara Tyson...
does it even matter? Do you know who any of these people are? Do you care?
You're gonna die. We're all just gonna die.
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