The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

I should be on TV.

I'm funny, sexy, interesting, exciting, sexy, engaging, witty and damn sexy. I think people would really want to watch me 24 hours a day. I mean, you just never know what's gonna happen around me. It's always something, and it's usually incredibly exciting. I mean riveting.

The movie which has given me this brilliant idea is, naturally enough, EdTV. It's a story about Jim Carrey, whose entire life has been filmed without his knowledge.

NO! This is NOT The Truman Show! Get that out of your head! This movie is nothing like The Truman Show! Nothing! Except for the fact that it centers around a guy whose life is on TV. But that's it! The two films are completely different! Just because you saw The Truman Show last summer does not excuse you from seeing EdTV. Neither does the fact that this review is really about a month late, and you're going to have to struggle to find a theater that is still playing EdTV. It's your duty, as loyal Self-Made followers, to hunt this movie down and see it.

Here's what the movie's really about. Ed signs up to have his life broadcast 24/7. Privacy is a thing of the past. Obscurity is a thing of the past. This is a story about fame. What it is, what it does, and what it wears to dinner.

It's pretty darned funny.

It stars Matthew McConaughey as Ed. Ed is a big, lovable loser. His family is full of big, lovable losers. His eventual girlfriend is a big, lovable loser - played by Jenna Elfman. This flick has so many big lovable losers, it makes you want to turn to the big, lovable loser next to you and give him a hug. Unless he really smells.

Fame is a funny thing, trust me, I know. She can be a harsh mistress, or a soothing lover. Most of the time, though, she's just damn intrusive. This movie explains all of that in great detail. It's directed by Ron Howard, he of the Opie Cunningham fame, himself no stranger to the abusive effects of a lifetime of fame and fortune. In some ways, EdTV is Ron's life. Boy, it must suck to be a multi-millionaire.

Aside from Jenna and Matthew, there is a huge cast of famous people in this thing. I mean they all just line up when Ronny comes calling. You got Woddy Harrelson, Martin Landau, Rob Reiner, Dennis Hopper, Sally Kirkland, Elizabeth Hurley and Ellen DeGeneres, to name a few.

Ellen kicks ass. I'm serious, she is easily the best thing in this movie. She's the TV executive who comes up with the idea in the first place, and she's a scene-stealing, pistol-packing mama. I'm glad her self-imposed 'retirement' from Hollywood with fellow gal-pal Anne Hesche didn't last too long. I like watching her. Maybe too much.

Now where Ed goes wrong is that I don't think he truly gave his audience their money's worth. On Self-MadeCriticTV, anything goes. One day I might have an orgy with seven Swedish Stewardesses, another day I might steal an Audi and go racing around the city, another day I might visit th emergency room and watch a surgery. Anything goes. Oh sure, the critics will have a field day when I take all kinds of highly illegal substances, they'll say I'm corrupting the kids and so forth. But my viewers will know that what I do, I do out of love. Love of you, my viewers. The ratings will back me up. I'll be like a live-action South Park. I may even get a former Motown star to sing for me.

So write the networks! Tell them that you want Self-MadeCriticTV! Make your voice count! Make you will known!

As for the movie, EdTV gets 3 6/7 Babylons. Not quite as good as The Truman Show, but then, we're not comparing it to Truman Show, are we?

Editor's Note:

Self-MadeCriticTV would look a lot like my own personal vision of Hell.

Rated: PG-13
Directed By: Ron Howard
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Jenna Elfman, Woody Harrelson, Sally Kirkland, Martin Landau, Rob Reiner, Ellen DeGeneres, Dennis Hopper, Elizabeth Hurley and Jim Carrey. No!!! Jim Carrey is not in this!! This is not The Truman Show!!! It's a totally different movie!!!!

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