Reginald, my latest editor, left in a huff when I insisted that "choco-licious"
was a real word. I don't think he's coming back.
I thought I'd be fine without an editor, but I spent five hours
this morning trying to think of another word for "old." The best
I could come up with was "really really old."
I need someone to do all the stupid things I can't be bothered with,
like figure out how to spell "McConaughey." I need someone to collect and
clean my cocktail glasses. I need someone to blame.
I need my old editor back.
I know he's reading. He's that kind of guy. Bitter.
So listen, Editor. If you come back to work, I'll give you your
old job back, plus a raise, plus on Tuesdays I'll let you
decide what station to tune the office radio to.
And, in addition, the first thing I'll have you do is write up a formal
apology from me to you for having fired you in the first place.
Make it sound sincere.