The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features

Stuff I tend to think about when I'm at the dentist:

How come there are never any Fangoria magazines in the lobby?

What do they do with all the unused gauze?

Are they wearing that mask to protect me from germs or because they're hiding something?

What'll it take to get them to give me laughing gas?

Why do I like that suction hose thing so much?

I wonder if I can get some of that raspberry tooth polish to go?

Can they give me fangs?

Do their kids believe in the tooth fairy? Or are they jaded?

Why are they smiling?

If I start humming along to the Muzak, will that disrupt their work?

What's that ridged metal thing actually used for?

Why do I have to spit in a cup when the sink is three feet away, are they saving it?

Do they think less of me because I don't floss?

Forget smiling, why are they laughing?

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