by Craig Demel

"Q: Is Striptease the first movie in which Demi Moore has appeared
    topless? -- George B., Portland, Ore.
 A: Not by a long shot!  The hard-driving actress has flashed her 
    headlights a half dozen times onscreen, starting with the sex
    romp comedy Blame It on Rio back in 1984."

					-from the Weekly World News column,
					 'Christie... Hollywood's Answer Girl'

Wow! Could it be? I had to check this out (I'm such a breast fan, my friends call me "That Breast-Obsessed Idiot, and stop calling us your friends"). Turns out, the Weekly World News is once again spot on. Thanks Christie!

Mind you, there's more to these movies than Demi Moore's tits -- an extra 90 or so minutes of material was added, I guess to allow for product placement. (Got Milk?) The other parts of the movies had credits, scenery, and, as far as I know, acting. I mean, I kinda fast-forwarded through those parts.

But I think the plots go basically like this:

Disclosure -- John Woo piles on the action in this, his first American feature. Tom Cruise plays a rookie cop who gets in over his head and has to fight for his life. Demi plays his gay lover.

The Butcher's Wife -- This harrowing psychodrama earned Demi her first Oscar nomination. She plays a mother who must decide between heroin and her two young children.

About Last Night -- Animated feature about an ant who discovers the true meaning of Christmas. A single still of Demi's breasts was inserted every 40 frames throughout the movie to keep audience interest up. Top-grossing movie of 1992.

The Scarlet Letter -- Demi gets an F in geometry.

Indecent Proposal -- Marlon Brando does another star turn as the (fat) crime-boss. Demi's character, Zim, is out for revenge after a loose cannon hit man (Dennis Hopper) kills her brother. In the film's most famous sequence, Zim renders senseless a dozen assailants, two at a time.