by David Neilsen

Conversation overheard while pumping gas:

"You should marry her."

"Maybe. After the Super Bowl."

"Do you love her?"

"During the week, sure. But on the weekends she just gets in the way."

"At least the sex is good."

"Should be, I got her that book and all."

"Money well spent."

"You'd be amazed."

"I know what you mean."

"No, you don't. They got chapters in there on everything you ever thought of. Pets, food, cactus, you name it."

"Cactus?"

"For real. A whole chapter on plant sex, it's wild, man."

"You try it?"

"Started to. I couldn't get past the fern."