Why can't other movies get it right?
Don't bother me with complex character development, historical accuracy or
other such dull intellectual crap. Want to know the secret to making money
in Hollywood? Pretty women in sexy outfits kicking ass.
The new action spectacular Charlie's Angels lives by this motto, and delivers
a surprisingly pleasurable experience. Other films could learn a few lessons
The plot begins simply enough. Charlie's Angels are hired to rescue a
kidnapped engineer from a mean old mega-powerful businessman. Naturally, it
becomes a great deal more complicated than that, but nowhere along the
convoluted way, do the filmmakers lose sight of what's important. Pretty
women in sexy outfits kicking ass.
The pretty women in sexy outfits kicking ass are Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz
and Lucy Liu. The play, Dylan, Alex and Natalie, though I'm not exactly sure
which is which, nor does it matter. Each of them has moments of goofy
brilliance, each of them performs incredible stunts, each of them kicks ass.
The villains also kick some serious ass. Especially eternally creepy freak
Crispin Glover, who has a number of really cool fight sequences with the
ladies, and manages to remind absolutely nobody of George McFly.
This is not a movie that will remembered at Academy Award time, but it
doesn't want to be, it doesn't try to be, and it concentrates on what it does
best, show pretty women in sexy outfits kicking ass. It is, of course, based
on the unforgettable 70's TV Show of the same name, and John Forsythe, who
voiced the elusive Charlie in the show reprises his role here as well. But
Angels 2000 takes the scantily clad heroines and turns them into martial art
masters who leap and twirl and smite and punish as if they're trying out for
It's such a simple formula, really. Pretty women in sexy outfits kicking
ass. And yet so often, filmmakers miss the mark. For example, Battlefield
Earth had no pretty women in sexy outfits kicking ass, and it was a total
bomb. Likewise, the Patriot is
pretty-women-in-sexy-outfits-kicking-ass-less, and it was a major
disappointment. Sometimes they get the formula mixed up, and the results are
worse than ever. Speed 2 had a pretty woman, but she was wearing a life
preserver most of the time, not a sexy outfit, and she didn't kick much ass,
either. When Stella Grooved Her Shakey Thang has a pretty woman, and she
wore some sexy outfits, but she isn't doing any ass-kicking at all, and the
movie was a disaster.
Throughout the history of cinema, audiences have turned to pretty women in
sexy outfits kicking ass. Sigourney Weaver in Aliens. Carrie Fisher in Star
Wars. Heck, Erin Brockovich is a very pretty woman in some very sexy outfits
doing some serious legal ass-kicking. All these movies were big hits, and I
think now we all know why.
Charlie's Angels is that rare movie that dares to be silly, campy and
frivolous and yet manages to not be lame. It is both a spoof and a tribute
of the original series from whence it came, and yet it still manages to take
the franchise to another level.
Is this a good movie? Yes. Is this a great movie? Sure. If you want to
spend two hours where the question of who got more votes in the Dade County
recount is the farthest thing from your mind, pop in and have a good time.
I'm giving Charlie's Angels 4 Babylons. I suggest you do the same.
When the SMC told me that he was going to see this last night, I thought
perhaps I'd never see him again, as he'd have finally seen his perfect movie
and would spontaneously combust.
I wish that I were so lucky.
Directed By: McG (Which I could've sworn was a new burger at McDonalds, but
I may be wrong)
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bill Murray, Tim Curry,
Crispin Glover, Matt LeBlanc, LL Cool J, Tom Green, Luke Wilson, Sam
Rockwell, Kelly Lynch, John Forsythe and all those sexy outfits. They kick