The Brunching Shuttlecocks Features


Catch Me If You Can

See Leo. See Leo run. Run Leo, run.

Such is the plot of the hot, hip, frantic, ribbed-for-your-pleasure holiday joyride, Catch Me If You Can.

This is a Steven Spielberg product. It shines with a pleasing gloss, offends no one and leaves you with a warm feeling in your tummy. You are meant to like this movie. Not enough? It stars Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio. Actually, it stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks, but we like Tom Hanks more, so we're gonna say Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio. Who doesn't like a movie with Tom Hanks? Come on America, you love him! You want him to come over and read a bedtime story to your kids! You want him to be your next door neighbor, because you know he'd never complain when you ask to borrow his PlayStation. Tom Hanks is the nicest man in the world, and you want to see every movie he makes.

I'm not kidding.

So go ahead and see Catch Me If You Can. Go on! What, you want to know what it's about? Picky, picky, picky.

Basically, it's a true-ish story about a kid who lied, cheated and stole his way into millions through forgery and deception. That's Leonardo DiCaprio, the rat. But he does it all with a smile, he never really hurts anyone and you can't help but like the guy. First, he pretends to be an airline pilot. He flies all around the country for free and forges paychecks from the airline, amassing a hell of a lot of money. Isn't that amusing? Next, he convinces the right people that he's a medical doctor and is hired to a supervisory position at a hospital. Then he becomes a lawyer without ever attending law school. Most of his research is done watching old television shows. Throughout all of this, FBI agent Tom Hanks chases after him, trying to catch him if he can. Since the movie opens with Leonardo DiCaprio in prison and the story is told in flashbacks, you get the feeling that he will, indeed, be caught. It's only a matter of time.

Because this is directed by Steven Spielberg, you tend to smile throughout just about every frame. Things get bad for our hero, but not really bad. People have to fight through adversity, but not too much adversity. Leo is just so darned charming, you forgive him his crimes and hope he gets away with it. After all, he's only doing it to impress his daddy, played by Christopher Walken, who so long ago became a caricature of himself that it's no longer all that much fun to watch him. I hear he was an actual actor once, that must have been neat.

Catch Me If You Can is a very pleasing film that you will enjoy for two hours and then promptly forget. For the life of me, I can't really remember much about it, other than the fact that I enjoyed it. It's almost as if I didn't actually see the film, but instead, spent two hours having a pleasing facial massage or something. I know it was good, I know I'm glad I saw it, I know I'm going to see Steven Spielberg's next film. But for all I know, I was actually abducted by aliens, improperly probed and violated and given a false memory to keep me docile. Come to think of it, I'm starting to get that feeling from a lot of Spielberg films. Weird.

Basically, the film's all Leo, all the time. Tis the season for Leo, and you can either get your PG-13 Leo fix in with this film, or go for the throat and the R-rated Stab Me If You Can. I don't know why they don't just get it over with, give him his own cable channel, and move on.

Tom does a good job being a nice guy. It's the part he was born to play.

I'm giving Catch Me If You Can 3 1/3 Babylons. It was about 3 2/3 when I left the theater, and it dims with time, so I'm thinking if I waited another few days, it'd drop below 3. But since I signed a pact with the Devil to never rate a Spielberg film below average, I had to get this in now.


Editor's Note:

So the SMC thinks that being improperly probed and violated and given a false memory is as pleasing as a facial massage? Did I read that right?


Catch Me If You Can
Rated: PG-13
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen, Nathalie Baye, James Brolin, and Jennifer Garner, in one of the worst-shot and edited scenes I've ever seen in a Spielberg film. I don't want to say he's getting sloppy, but word on the street is he did most of his directing via webcam so he could stay at home and play Grand Theft Auto III.

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