Catch Me If You Can
reviewed by The Self-Made Critic
See Leo. See Leo run. Run Leo, run.
Such is the plot of the hot, hip, frantic, ribbed-for-your-pleasure holiday
joyride, Catch Me If You Can.
This is a Steven Spielberg product. It shines with a pleasing gloss,
offends no one and leaves you with a warm feeling in your tummy. You are
meant to like this movie. Not enough? It stars Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio.
Actually, it stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks, but we like Tom Hanks
more, so we're gonna say Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio. Who doesn't like
a movie with Tom Hanks? Come on America, you love him! You want him to
come over and read a bedtime story to your kids! You want him to be your
next door neighbor, because you know he'd never complain when you ask to
borrow his PlayStation. Tom Hanks is the nicest man in the world, and you
want to see every movie he makes.
I'm not kidding.
So go ahead and see Catch Me If You Can. Go on! What, you want to know
what it's about? Picky, picky, picky.
Basically, it's a true-ish story about a kid who lied, cheated and stole his
way into millions through forgery and deception. That's Leonardo
DiCaprio, the rat. But he does it all with a smile, he never really hurts
anyone and you can't help but like the guy. First, he pretends to be an
airline pilot. He flies all around the country for free and forges
paychecks from the airline, amassing a hell of a lot of money. Isn't that
amusing? Next, he convinces the right people that he's a medical doctor and
is hired to a supervisory position at a hospital. Then he becomes a
lawyer without ever attending law school. Most of his research is done
watching old television shows. Throughout all of this, FBI agent Tom Hanks
chases after him, trying to catch him if he can. Since the movie opens with
Leonardo DiCaprio in prison and the story is told in flashbacks, you get
the feeling that he will, indeed, be caught. It's only a matter of time.
Because this is directed by Steven Spielberg, you tend to smile throughout
just about every frame. Things get bad for our hero, but not really bad.
People have to fight through adversity, but not too much adversity. Leo is
just so darned charming, you forgive him his crimes and hope he gets away
with it. After all, he's only doing it to impress his daddy, played by
Christopher Walken, who so long ago became a caricature of himself that it's
no longer all that much fun to watch him. I hear he was an actual actor
once, that must have been neat.
Catch Me If You Can is a very pleasing film that you will enjoy for two
hours and then promptly forget. For the life of me, I can't really remember
much about it, other than the fact that I enjoyed it. It's almost as if I
didn't actually see the film, but instead, spent two hours having a
pleasing facial massage or something. I know it was good, I know I'm glad I
saw it, I know I'm going to see Steven Spielberg's next film. But for
all I know, I was actually abducted by aliens, improperly probed and
violated and given a false memory to keep me docile. Come to think of it,
I'm
starting to get that feeling from a lot of Spielberg films. Weird.
Basically, the film's all Leo, all the time. Tis the season for Leo, and
you can either get your PG-13 Leo fix in with this film, or go for the
throat and the R-rated Stab Me If You Can. I don't know why they don't just
get it over with, give him his own cable channel, and move on.
Tom does a good job being a nice guy. It's the part he was born to play.
I'm giving Catch Me If You Can 3 1/3 Babylons. It was about 3 2/3 when I
left the theater, and it dims with time, so I'm thinking if I waited another
few days, it'd drop below 3. But since I signed a pact with the Devil to
never rate a Spielberg film below average, I had to get this in now.
Editor's Note:
So the SMC thinks that being improperly probed and violated and given a
false memory is as pleasing as a facial massage? Did I read that right?
Catch Me If You Can
Rated: PG-13
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen,
Nathalie Baye, James Brolin, and Jennifer Garner, in one of the worst-shot
and edited scenes I've ever seen in a Spielberg film. I don't want to say
he's getting sloppy, but word on the street is he did most of his directing
via webcam so he could stay at home and play Grand Theft Auto III.
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